Lectures & VCs

Some of the Speakers

Some of the Speakers at this year's Shaastra

Second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour. Time does not fly when you’re not having a ball. Each second seems like an eternity. Listening to people speak on and on with no apparent point. It’s absolutely the worst possible thing you can imagine. And yet, it is amazing when the opposite happens, when people know what they are talking about, keep it concise and witty, and keep the audience on the edge of their seats. Yes, that’s what it’s like at Shaastra. We only pull in the best of the best and we promise you that it will be anything but boring.

How do we work that one out? Well, we’ve pulled together a crew for that. Obligatory, yes, but still a crew all the same and the collective intention is to relate. What’s the point of ‘yesterday’ if it’s not going to be relived, right? Well, we’ve tried ‘contemporary’ as always cause that’s what’s really important. This isn’t a list of ‘ten reasons why you’ve got to be there’, by the way. We’ve definitely got more than that.

We’ve managed to hit a fair bit of a high on our pop-references, fought to bring the ‘in thing’ in. We figure our very own ‘Chandrayaan’ missions ought to be top three material in what’s being talked about in the scientific and technological front in India, and hence we’ve got its project director and renowned speaker Mylswamy Annadurai to give us some first-hand insight into what the mission actually means, being the breakthrough it is. And if you could brand Dan Brown as the official hype-rider, then the ‘Large Hadron Collider’ found some heavy advertisement, what with ‘Angels and Demons’ usurping the box-office for quite a while last year. But Dr. Lyndon Evans (project leader, CERN) wouldn’t want to talk about that, not in that exact sense anyway. Face it guys! Maybe it’s time to learn for real what the experiment involves, a chance for you to tell round-table study groups that you actually have an idea about it. Why would you want to miss that?! And if you can’t wait till Shaastra, then we’ve got a treat for you. He’ll be giving a talk entitled “Back to the Big Bang: the Large Hadron Collider” on the 15th of September. That’s right folks. You heard correctly. Shaastra starts early this year, and it’s going to start with a bang…a BIG bang! Don’t miss it, or you’ll be sorry.

Though we tried hard, Einstein cited ‘availability’ issues and can’t make it, but we did find a contemporary. Gerardus ‘t Hooft has a Science Fiction novel out (‘Playing with Planets’, 2008) in addition to his timeline of medals, and this Nobel Prize winner (Physics, 1999) would be the one to watch out for if in case you think of things at the sub-atomic level. Or if you’re just about ‘molecular’ or perhaps at a higher ‘cellular’ level, there’s Dr. Arup Chakraborthy (Biochemist, MIT) who said he’s only too glad to tell you about how you ‘fall, only to learn to pick yourself up’, is an analogy to the sickness that the world calls ‘Adaptive Immunity’. We do hope he thrusts some of his HIV research details into this so as to keep the world informed! And Siddhartha Srinivasa (Senior Research Scientist, Intel Labs) could probably say “Why not let a robot do it for you instead?”, our local boy (an alumnus of IIT Madras) who probably grew up with a little too much of Rosie and Irona intends to make them a reality. Dr. Vishy Poosala (CTO, Bell Labs) would only agree with him on how the world would be better off being completely ‘mobile’, probably quoting John Lennon as he says that!

All respects to Dr. B.N. Suresh, recipient of the Padma Shri (2002) and current director of the Indian Institute of Space Science and Technology (IIST), Thiruvananthapuram, who’d be another cherry on our Aerospace cake, having consented to take us along for a while on his epic journey, from Koppa to beyond ‘beyond’, and then we have our lineup of non-Engineering expertise. Raj Chetty, the Indian dazzler on Harvard premise (a Ben Campbell equivalent, except that he’d probably hold on to his money better!) could probably disagree on that, given he intends to sell Economics to engineering minds, with Richard B. Freeman (Labour Economist, Harvard) too, strengthening our Harvard stronghold. Alex Tabarrok competes from George Mason University, Virginia, although he’s already our official blogger of the year with his (alongside Tyler Cowen, his colleague) e-journal ‘Marginal Revolution’, a touch of inspiration at having bloggers and wannabe economists convene together. But then, once past those who teach, there’re the ones who do and do it good at that. Meet Steve Blank, retired entrepreneur and founder of the Silicon Valley in California, who isn’t just content with his success, working now to launch brighter minds to get where he is now, or maybe even beyond. And lastly, we have Nikhil Velpanur, who promises to be as daring as his website picture (see for yourself!) on his multiple endeavours in profit as well as non-profit departments.

Well, that’s about all we have to say about what we have in store for you, although they’d be telling you a whole lot more than that. And if you still think twice, if the question of ‘Why do I have to be doing this?’ is still found to be lingering on in your mind, it only means you haven’t read it right so I suggest you read this all over again. Period. If you still want more info, then check out the official page.

Science Fiction Writing

Science Fiction writing is one of the events one should not miss if he has a flair for writing. With a dash of creativity and bit of imagination, one can transcend the borders of space and time as he weave webs of stories analyzing unrealistic situations. Shaastra’s Science Fiction Writing competition has always been that of the highest caliber. Shaastra 2009  Sci-Fi competition had the world renowned Cory Doctrow, who achieved his fame through his blog Boing Boing as a judge for the numerous entries. This post is dedicated to the last years winning entries with the hope that it will give people inspiration to start their own story. The topic for last year’s Online Sci-fi Writing was the following

-An asteroid is about to collide with the Earth. Because there is no way of preventing the collision, the Earth is being evacuated. But your protagonist and a few others decide to stay back on Earth and await their fates. Recount the last hour of your protagonist’s life.

These were the Winning entries,

Journalistic Integrity

Are you sure you want to do this?” they asked for what seemed like the millionth time. Of course! Why would a man his age miss the greatest show on earth-the biggest and the last, at least-to be stuck in suspended animation for a century or two? They probably wouldn’t be able to unfreeze him when they got to wherever it is that they planned to go, and he was just as likely to keel over and die as soon as they did, anyway. And if he was going to die, he wanted to go like Terry Pratchett; glass of whiskey in hand, sitting on his favourite bench and admiring the garden he had tended himself for over half a century. With an approaching meteorite in the background. And he would go doing what he did best, going where others couldn’t-staying while others couldn’t stay- and telling them what they were missing. Nobody would watch what he made for a very long time, of course, but when they finally woke up, he wanted them to know just how this planet had gone into the good night.

He did have one final duty to tend to, so he set up the cameras and other equipment. Clip-on mic, check. Video link, check. Audio link, check. The others would be doing this at various other stations now, but he would be the one putting it all together. The Americans got to do this in daylight, which was easier, although he appreciated the darkness; he wanted to see the stars as they fell towards him. “Then the third angel sounded; and a great star fell from heaven, burning like a torch, and it fell on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water.” Why had no one made a movie about Revelations yet? Some one at Warner Bros should have thrown a bible at Michael Bay and told him to get to work. He had always wanted to do it, but no one trusted him with that kind of thing. “Stick to the documentaries, John.” All studio executives sneered the same way. “You’re doing good work here, serious work. We all love your interviews. This country needs people like you. Keep at it. Leave the explosions to the experts.” Well. Well. He’d show them how to shoot a great explosion.

It was about the size of the moon now, and he could see it getting bigger every minute. Not long now. One camera was always focused on it; that would be his introduction sequence. Then a short but fittingly memorable speech, a few shots of the Wonders set to Ravel’s Bolero with Big Boy-what a stupid name for the Agent of Armageddon!-in the background, providing Context. And of course, the first person shot of the explosion for a finale.

As we stand on the brink of destruction, it is only fitting to question what we as a species have accomplished in our short stay on this doomed planet. We have built bridges and skyscrapers, pyramids and temples, but what of that? In a few hours, and long before you hear this, they will all return to the earth from which they were carved. We are frustrated sculptors, seeking to shape the world in our image, only to be rebuffed by catastrophe. This planet will probably recover from this; at some point, it will hold life again. Perhaps, civilization will re-emerge. But nothing of out deeds will remain. What is our legacy? What has mankind done that separates it from any other form of life, from all the dumb creatures that remain behind, unaware of their fates? What can…”

That’s interesting… It didn’t seem to be moving any more. He peered over at the telescope. Was that a hole? Why would an asteroid have a hole in its side? He was sure it wasn’t there earlier… too astonished now to provide commentary, he focused the camera on it. That thing coming out of it now looked an awful lot like a ship, although it moved a lot faster than the speed at which those shuttles moved on TV. It was almost on the ground already!

Really? Little green men? If there was a god, he certainly has a sense of humour.

<Greetings, friend. We hope we translator decode you brain waves goodly. Translator bad now but become more goodly fastly. We are @#$@R$()%@$. We come in peace. We travel galaxy to spread %$#^&@#. We offer matter transmutator as sign of good faith.>

He bit back a sigh. Great, here come the alien evangelists, offering salvation. All he’d ever wanted was to film a good explosion!

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The prophet had said in the ‘Visions from the emerald beyond’; “And in the day when the day and the night become equal, the sky whelps the sun through to this world. And this union will conceive death, who shall then swallow his own mother.” He could have as well said, “Frickin’ asteroid smashes the earth on September 22, 2038 and wipes off life”. I guess that anyone who lived on Earth before September 22, 2038 would have said the former. And I, one of the 168 people who are present now on Earth, on September 22, 2038, would have said the latter.

I checked the time. 11.15, it said. Fine then, 36 minutes to go.
For the past two days I’ve been wondering.  Why did I stay back? Why did I not go on board Argo like the rest 2 million people on this planet? Why did I wish to watch the looming death finally crush me and the earth into an explosion to nothingness? Why?

Why not? Would I have rather been on that monstrosity? With no idea of where we were going or how long we could sustain our lives in that gargantuan tinderbox, I am much better staying off here. It certainly is.

“I cannot rest from travel: I will drink
Life to the lees; all times I have enjoy’d
Greatly, have suffer’d greatly both with those
That loved me, and alone

And now, I’m alone. Truly alone. Ulysses is no longer a shadow in the mist. We are travelers on the same ship, and Destiny awaits us.

It is a wonder that the human brain has the ability to switch itself off from what it deems irrelevant. The certainty of death has made it irrelevant. But isn’t that always the case? Death is irrelevant. He’ll arrive on Binky and take you to wherever he should. It’s a necessity. And we all know that. So, we decide not to think about Death. Let him come. But why should I worry about him until then?  I will drink life to the lees and then die. Goddamn you, Death.

I checked the time again. 11.27. 24 minutes to Armageddon; before the very imaginatively titled ZN-3120-DQ smashes into New England. ‘And then Fire shall burst forth from the sky and raze the earth, the oceans shall boil and sweep away the world of man, and the earth shall shudder and shake off humanity from her back’.

Again, humanity’s obsession with itself is a bit appalling. We men do not comprise the whole world.  There are millions of species and billions of organisms on Earth, all of which will disappear completely from the pages of history. Why did the Argonauts think it fit that only humans would want to escape the fate of their impossible planet? They shall rot in the sky, and the Argo shall join the ranks of the stars, twinkling with the combined despair of a homeless horde.

The temperature is becoming more and more unbearable, even by Outback standards. That’s saying something, isn’t it Topcat? The dial says 11.38. 13 minutes to midnight. Now, there’s a good example of irony for you. The new sun shall throw the world into unending darkness. Literally. Physicists calculated that the impact of the collision would be so great that it would knock Earth out of her current orbit and onto the orbit of Mars and the outer planets. In a sense, we would also end up like the Argo. And once the optimal position was lost, Earth could never support life again.

2 minutes to midnight. I had finished the last bottle of beer. It was divinely cold and bitter. Nothing like a nice buzz to witness the end of the world. Time ticks on. A new sun rises in the horizon. “Divi Surya Sahasras………..

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Shaastra 2010 online science fiction writing has received a lot of good entries and promises to engross  the readers and judges alike.

Shaastra Leaks: How to be a successful Shaastra Core in 11 easy steps!

Disgusted Calvin, as always.Here are those ridiculously easy steps:

1. Sit down for 5 minutes and come up with an “in-depth, detailed” plan for Shaastra:
Eg:
i. Get many coords.
ii. Infinitely pain above coords.
iii. Drink lots of coffee at CCD.

2. Sell your department like it’s the best thing on earth and interview any gullible junta who apply for coordship. Examples of interview questions may include “how many girls will you introduce me to”, “are you willing to do my course assignments”, and “tell me how great I am in not less than 1000 words”.

3. Call a group meeting with all coords and arrive fashionably late (minimum 15 minutes). If anyone arrives later than you, bitch about the importance of punctuality to them. Explain your long term plan (essentially repeat 1 sentence in infinitely many ways) to them. If you don’t have a long term plan, ask the coords what they think your long term plan is and run with it.

4. After 1 month, when the CoCAS asks why you haven’t done anything, tell him your coords are useless and you need to hire an external consultant. Hire said consultant and call him a visionary “strategist”. Essentially, he/she will be someone who will put infinite pseud and do zero work.

5. After 1 more month, call a core meet for your department (even if you are the only core) at CCD. Invite “big thinkers”, “knowledgeable junta”, and “experienced strategists”. In other words, invite hot girls (yes, we are being gender biased, would you really want us not to be?) and put pseud for 2 hours. Bill the final amount to Shaastra.

*6. Finally learn how to turn off a light bulb.

7. About 1 month before Shaastra, mind rape every coord you have and tell them they haven’t done enough (even though they’ve done 10 times what you ever could). If they actually haven’t done anything, don’t rape them as much (yes, this is stupid, but don’t forget, you are a core, stupidity is synonymous with being one).

8. Stay up late night 4 days of every week chatting on Facebook. If anyone asks why you are so tired, tell them you’re working hard to make Shaastra great.

9. Roughly a week before Shaastra, finally praise all your coords for the hard work they’ve been doing and tell them they will now have to put nightouts to finish any lagging work of yours.

10. During Shaastra, spend most of your time chasing hotties. If anyone asks you what you are doing, tell them with great pomp that you are a core and that you are N pained with work.

11. After Shaastra, promise your team a grand party. Conveniently forget to inform the team when the party will actually be held and instead party with all the hotties you spent days chasing during Shaastra. Don’t forget to inflate the number of people who attend the party by 10+ when you inform the Finance guys.

Congratulations! In only 11 easy steps you have become a successful Shaastra Core!

*Don’t worry if you are not able to do this. 18 of the 19 cores still don’t know how to do this, and that includes our CoCAS.