Here are those ridiculously easy steps:

1. Sit down for 5 minutes and come up with an “in-depth, detailed” plan for Shaastra:
Eg:
i. Get many coords.
ii. Infinitely pain above coords.
iii. Drink lots of coffee at CCD.

2. Sell your department like it’s the best thing on earth and interview any gullible junta who apply for coordship. Examples of interview questions may include “how many girls will you introduce me to”, “are you willing to do my course assignments”, and “tell me how great I am in not less than 1000 words”.

3. Call a group meeting with all coords and arrive fashionably late (minimum 15 minutes). If anyone arrives later than you, bitch about the importance of punctuality to them. Explain your long term plan (essentially repeat 1 sentence in infinitely many ways) to them. If you don’t have a long term plan, ask the coords what they think your long term plan is and run with it.

4. After 1 month, when the CoCAS asks why you haven’t done anything, tell him your coords are useless and you need to hire an external consultant. Hire said consultant and call him a visionary “strategist”. Essentially, he/she will be someone who will put infinite pseud and do zero work.

5. After 1 more month, call a core meet for your department (even if you are the only core) at CCD. Invite “big thinkers”, “knowledgeable junta”, and “experienced strategists”. In other words, invite hot girls (yes, we are being gender biased, would you really want us not to be?) and put pseud for 2 hours. Bill the final amount to Shaastra.

*6. Finally learn how to turn off a light bulb.

7. About 1 month before Shaastra, mind rape every coord you have and tell them they haven’t done enough (even though they’ve done 10 times what you ever could). If they actually haven’t done anything, don’t rape them as much (yes, this is stupid, but don’t forget, you are a core, stupidity is synonymous with being one).

8. Stay up late night 4 days of every week chatting on Facebook. If anyone asks why you are so tired, tell them you’re working hard to make Shaastra great.

9. Roughly a week before Shaastra, finally praise all your coords for the hard work they’ve been doing and tell them they will now have to put nightouts to finish any lagging work of yours.

10. During Shaastra, spend most of your time chasing hotties. If anyone asks you what you are doing, tell them with great pomp that you are a core and that you are N pained with work.

11. After Shaastra, promise your team a grand party. Conveniently forget to inform the team when the party will actually be held and instead party with all the hotties you spent days chasing during Shaastra. Don’t forget to inflate the number of people who attend the party by 10+ when you inform the Finance guys.

Congratulations! In only 11 easy steps you have become a successful Shaastra Core!

*Don’t worry if you are not able to do this. 18 of the 19 cores still don’t know how to do this, and that includes our CoCAS.

Pune Edition

Sampark, Pune

Shaastrarth: For the uninitiated, can you tell us what Sampark is?
Publicity: Sampark is a pre-Shaastra initiative with a bi-fold objective:
- Reaching out to students across the country and providing them with a taste of Shaastra.
- Selecting quality participants and providing them direct entry into various main events.

Shaastrarth: The first of the Sampark ’10 happened at Pune, right? Can you give us a few details?
Publicity: Yes, the first Sampark happened on 22nd August ['as promised in my application', he boasts] at the College of Engineering, Pune. We had a footfall of well over 400.

Shaastrarth: Can you tell us what events were a part of it?
Publicity: We had FOSS Conference, Shaastra Main Quiz, Aerobotics, Project-X and Robotics. All the events had plenty of enthusiastic participation.

Shaastrarth: How difficult was it to organize an event of such magnitude in a foreign city?
Publicity: Oh, honestly, it was not easy at all. COEP was chosen because of its central location and the fact that IIT Bombay used to hold its pre-TechFest event there. The management of the institute and the student working body were helpful and except a few issues (on sponsorship, arrangements and collaboration which were ironed out easily through discussions) the process was pretty smooth.
There were a few other hiccups though. Getting the Robotics arena built within the budget limits, in time, was a pain (and thanks to one M/s Shivashakti Bikes because of whom we managed to roam around Pune at night looking for a carpenter). And the Core had to work like a Vol under his own Coord. That should also tell you the manpower at our hands.

Shaastrarth:  Sounds like you had some memorable time there, painful or otherwise. Tell us more about such odd events.
Publicity: Unfortunately, we can’t recall most of the slips. Here are some we can: The problem statement of Project-X being changed from a cantilever bridge to a windmill by the sponsors without any prior intimation was a surprise to the participants and the coords alike. A tiff between the Robotics coord and another Robocon participant was ridiculous. Oh, yeah, and the way the same Robotics coord offered to help out the underprepared female team was hilarious but is understandable in hindsight. Several participants were amused to see the event coordinators crashing on the floor of the auditorium during the Vestas workshop. The dinner conundrum was a high point in itself. We divided ourselves into three groups, boarded three autos and headed to the same destination but ended up in three different parts of the city! We did manage to catch the train in time somehow.

Shaastrarth:  One thing more, why did you choose Pune and Bangalore, specifically?
Publicity: [Scratches chin for a moment] Chicks da!

Shaastrarth: Oh and yeah, stopping next at Bangalore?
Publicity: Yes! The second edition will be held in Bangalore at the Dayanand Sagar College on 19th September. We are confident of pulling off a success story there too. To the readers, we say, be there!

The Shaastrarth team thanks Pramod and Sagar, from the Publicity team, for actually answering the questions asked frankly and for trying hard to remember all the goof-ups that happened. Oh, and for organizing the event at Pune (and Bangalore), thereby making insti junta dream about a better sex-ratio at Shaastra ’10.

Overview, Pune Sampark